How to trust God when others judge you by your physical appearance?
The fact that our culture is obsessed with beauty makes discrimination and cruelty very common. These conditions lead to many trials for women. Few things hurt as much as being mistreated for our appearance. Our appearance is so linked to our identity that any criticism hurts us to the depths of our being. It feels so unfair because it's unfair.
Maybe we have experienced rejection because of our appearance. At school we are not popular, we are not included, nor invited. Or maybe we have felt demoralized at work because of all the times they have given promotions to the most attractive ones, even though we are more qualified than them.
We may have painful memories of being mocked and cruelly criticized to our face or behind our backs. Maybe your family pressures you to be beautiful, and you feel like you'll never measure up.
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“ Even in cases where we experience suffering
unfairly because of our appearance,
God calls us to trust Him. ”
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Or maybe your husband has been looking at pornography. This does not mean that you are not attractive to him, but there are women who perceive it as a personal attack on their beauty. Or even more painful, your husband may have committed adultery or abandoned you for a younger, more attractive woman.
There are many examples, ranging from slightly embarrassing to completely devastating.
As women, we may embrace God's truth about beauty, but we're still living in the real world, aren't we? Sometimes it seems that no matter how hard we try to honor God with our bodies, no matter how much we dress modestly and contemplate the beauty of God, instead of honoring and encouraging ourselves, we feel crushed by others, even Christians themselves.
These situations may tempt us to feel bitter or even fight back, but both reflect the opposite of a soft and peaceful spirit. And even in cases where we experience suffering unfairly because of our appearance, God calls us to trust Him. He sent his Son to bear our sins and shows us how to endure mistreatment:
Christ suffered for you, giving you an example to follow in His footsteps. He committed no sin, nor was there deceit in His mouth. When they uttered insults against Him, He did not reply with insults; When he suffered, he did not threaten, but gave himself to Him who judges justly (1P 2:21-23).
The secret to becoming more beautiful is to surrender ourselves to the One who judges justly . People can be unfair, but God is not. John Piper asks us:
Do you believe it? Do you trust that God, who sees every evil committed against you, knows every pain, and evaluates motivations and circumstances with perfect accuracy? Do you believe that He is impeccably just and takes no bribes, and that He will settle all accounts with perfect justice? This is what it means to be 'God-conscious' in the midst of unjust suffering.
“ She displays remarkable beauty and
unusual because he has learned
to wait on God. ”
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By looking beyond the injustices committed against us and fixing our gaze on God's perfect justice, we can endure the cruelties of others regarding our appearance without seeking revenge. But Piper adds that “This is not simply a rule to follow. It is a miracle that we experience. A grace we receive. A promise that we must believe.”
God not only sees and takes note of every mistreatment, but He also sees our obedience. He sees everything and forgets nothing. Even when we don't see things solved or our efforts rewarded in the time we expect, or to the degree we would like, we can trust that God will judge fairly. It may be difficult, and sometimes even agonizing, to wait patiently for that justice to be fulfilled, but Christ has left us His example. When we follow in their footsteps, we can resist the temptation to feel bitter or want to fight back. We can, like our Savior, continue to trust and surrender to God.”
The woman who decides to look to God when she is mistreated will become more beautiful through suffering. On his face you will not see the marks of bitterness or a disturbed face. She displays remarkable and uncommon beauty because she has learned to wait on God. Her happiness is not available to those who have mistreated her.
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This article was adapted from a portion of the book True Beauty , published by Poiema Publications .
You can download a free sample by visiting this link .
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Pages 90 to 92
